They asked me to write something about myself but they didn't say what so I'm not sure now. Anyways, I hear people say I'm a sandwich short of a picnic but I've never been to a picnic except the annual Pageant and that's not really a picnic 'cept a bunch of the people around here sitting around eating tuna casserole so your dinner goes in your lap - they oughtn't use paper plates from the Mini-Mall.
I recall having a business to do with Beta tapes or something. That was before the smoking weed and the demon drink took hold of me after I lost my savings investing in Cranberry-Bee Pollen Hair Tamer put about by a guy from out east called Trump. When I'm not hanging out in town, you'll find me at home (that's what I call it anyway) with my babies, Porky, Pinky, Pouchy and Plumpy, four pot-bellied pigs that take care of the trash around. For cash I repair key-operated roller skates but don't tell anyone about that on account of the welfare folks don't like it when folks take money for working but it ain't no work at all - I know how to do it.
Played by Dave McKay.