Reprint from Hoopdeville Herald.
By Fred Bloggs III
Reports are coming in of a mass evacuation of Dipperville by its citizens for no apparent reason. All signs of life have been absent from the town - more absent than normal - for over five days. The main frack sand hauler at the Hoopdeville mine, Bob Brakeman a Dipperville resident, is missing and his drivers are idle at the mine awaiting instructions.
The cause of the evacuation is still a mystery. Initial reports said that the mass evacuation was triggered by a comment of a politically correct nature made on the town's radio station, KOEH, by a new resident in town who had not been through the PC debriefing and desensitization program. That report was quickly refuted when it was discovered that the PC detectors on all roads into town were operating normally.
Sporadic radio reception is being picked up by Hoopdeville residents that sound suspiciously like KOEH host Milli Cent but it has proven impossible to decipher her message.
The Hoopdeville Herald will keep you informed on the latest developments in this ongoing mystery. In the meantime, the Hoopdeville Knights of the Rigged Table are organizing a looting party to Dipperville. Buses will leave from outside the Stocks and Pillory bar at 07:00 tomorrow morning. Bring your own bags.